“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” — James Baldwin
As a father and a business owner, I have spent a significant portion of my career obsessed with efficiency. I have studied the mechanics of management, dissected the nuances of decision-making, and built frameworks designed to squeeze every ounce of productivity out of a 24-hour cycle.
But my daughter, who is almost four, has made one truth impossible to ignore. Leadership is less about giving orders and more about the example you set. And to put it in plain terms: “They don’t listen…”
It was a crash course in leadership development that I did not expect. Kids rarely do what we say, but they almost always do what we do. I have seen the exact same pattern with my daughter and with team members at work. This realization has completely reshaped how I view effective leadership at JC Labs.
The Parenting Reality: My Daughter Is Watching Everything
I used to think management meant clear instructions. I would ask my daughter to put away her toys. I would remind her to clear her dishes. I would tell her in the mornings to go brush her teeth.
Most of the time, just telling her did not work. She ignored it, got distracted, or simply refused.
Then I moved from commands to companionship. I realized that instead of acting like an executive barking orders, I needed to act like a mentor. I needed to do it with her. Essentially, we need to lead by example.
- When I start picking up toys myself and invite her to help, she joins in.
- When I get up and clear my own dishes, she is far more likely to copy me.
- In the mornings, brushing teeth only really happens reliably when we go and brush together.
Kids are elite imitators. They are always watching the small, boring moments. They watch your personality traits and how you handle stress. They do not just want rules. They want a model. Their natural competency is learning through observation.
This is why I try very hard not to be a “rules for thee, but not for me” parent. If I say “no TV during dinner,” I hold myself to the same rule. I’ll be honest though – I have even been called out by my daughter when my actions did not match my words. It was a humbling reminder that leadership skills start with integrity.
From Home to Work: The Exact Same Pattern in Business
I have worked in companies where the executive team preached one thing and practiced another. They would insist that team members must be on time and talked about how much time in the office mattered. Yet those same leaders regularly strolled into the office well past the official start time.
That disconnect immediately eroded trust. It planted seeds of doubt in their credibility. It made me question if they were truly a great “leader” or just a “manager”, and to me, those are two very different concepts.
Just like children, teams are not primarily shaped by what they are told. They are shaped by what the leader does. Over time, that kind of hypocrisy travels downward. It robs the company of organizational alignment. Staff stop taking rules seriously, morale drops, and buy-in disappears.
At JC Labs, we apply this to our workforce management. We try to stay agile and honest. If I want my team to prioritize proactive management and high-level strategy, I have to be the first one in the trenches doing that work. You cannot demand workforce productivity if you are the one creating the bottleneck with your own habits.
Leading by Example
The best leaders know that true efficiency comes from alignment. When your actions match your words, you do not have to waste time “enforcing” rules because the culture handles itself.
To be an effective leader, you must look in the mirror first. Whether you are at home with a toddler or at the office with a team, remember one thing.
They are always watching.
